Where are you going? What are you doing? What motivates you? What drives you? What gets you up in the morning? What keeps you up when you’re tired?

I had to ask someone these questions last week, but frankly I spend a lot of time asking myself these questions. Once or twice a year going back maybe 5 years, I have these come-to-Jesus moments where I get the urge to shut down everything. Stop hanging out with “friends”, stop dealing with drama, and just an overall urge to address any bad habits, strengthen any good habits, and reevaluate my life. (Maybe its the coolness of the coming autumn over a busy and hyper summer in preparation for a hibernating winter.) Growing up, I was made to be super-reflective/introspective, almost like hyper-introspective to the point where it halts progress. Sometimes though it helps me to center myself in an ever-changing constantly moving world that has no pity for the weak.

While sitting back, I started to think about the awesome things I’ve done this year. I’m not the person to dwell too much on awesome things or accomplishments. In fact, most of the time, I will downplay those things. But this year, it was too flagrant to ignore. How could I ignore my awesome trip to Europe where I got to see friends that I made here and promised one day I would come to their home and see how they live. How could I ignore that last year I said I would be an Indoor Cycle instructor and in March I completed my certification and now I’m a full instructor teaching a class that gets great reviews and is constantly waitlisted. How can I ignore my trip west coast to see my good friend in Seattle or down to Jekyll Island to see my family in Georgia. How can I ignore that with only one thing, my focused and made up mind, I visualized what I wanted and it became so. The answer: I can’t.

I’m not a guru. (Not even close :P). But in my darkest moments of this year and every year, I couldn’t see anything. I had no plan. I had no vision. I was stuck in a rut or lost in stagnation. I wasn’t moving forward; too focused on the future and the past at the same time. But overtime, I’ve learned that ruts and stagnation are simply a matter of wanting to do too much. Spreading the jam to thin.

Confusion to me is being lost in bad routines that you repeat day in and day out like Groundhog’s Day. Waking up to the same thing over and over again. Or being stuck in the place between the Matrix and the Machine world where you run through one side of the tunnel and come back on the other side. Or trying to escape your situation, but realizing your in the Truman Show (enter your name) and all attempts to leave are stopped. Confusion is the halt in time that leads to the slow self-destructive death that comes from lack of planning and a complete take over of our physical will.

If you’re in this state, get focused. If shit is going terribly wrong, slow down and ask yourself the below questions:

• Where am I going? – Don’t know. Create a vision board or get a poster board and start brainstorming where you want to be in 5 years. (If you can’t think that far, do 1 year.)
• What am I doing? – Don’t know. Schedule some activities and stick with them.
• Who I am? – The most important question. Create an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses. Write down your accomplishments.
• What do you want? – Get down to the very core of what you want. Is it girls (or guys)? Is it money? Is it a feeling of self-worth? Is it jewelry? Is it purpose? Is it love? Is it experiencing new places and people? Whatever it is. Write it down and be honest.

Your journey is personal and it’s often hindered not by outside people looking to screw you over but to your own self-sabotage ways trying to stop you from being great. Nothing can stop a man who knows what he wants and is willing to get it at all costs. You can’t imprison a man who is free in his own mind. We were not meant to be confused or lost in the dark. We are meant to shine as brightly as we can, but when we put on for others, do things we don’t really want to do, lie to keep dying friendships going, drug ourselves to go along to get along, when we take jobs we hate with no plan to get ahead, when we chase friends on Facebook or take pictures for likes on Instagram, we throw ourselves further into that darkness.

Be the nerdy, kind, goofball that you are deep down in your soul. Go ride your bike and put on that stupid helmet, go play handball, go do yoga, write your book, join that cooking class, book that ticket, go to comic-con, take a one day road trip to that weird museum that you were thinking about. Do what makes you happy instead of being miserable and doing what others want you to do. Get real with yourself because you can lie to some people some of the time but you can’t lie to all the people all the time!

Go be awkwardly you and enjoy it! Happy Monday!

D’Marco
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