While the Blogsphere, Twittersphere, and Facebook Universes are all going crazy with New Year resolutions, goals, and advice, we thought we’d give a special shoutout to the thousands of people who will be hitting the nerve-wrecking milestone of thirty, the big 3-0. You’ve managed to throw together three decades yet you still haven’t learned shit. So here’s our special list for you that we believe you and your family and friends will appreciate.
- Grow up! – Yup; I said it. The time has finally come for you to resemble something like an adult. Get an apartment or house; start paying your own bills and on time; start saving; start volunteering and giving to charity; find some real hobbies that don’t include arm wrestling bar tenders for drinks and taking shots every Friday to toast to the weekend. It’s time to let go of those costly bad habits and substitute in productive beneficial habits.
- Shut the Hell up! – That’s right! Shut up. You are the first generation to grow up with access to the personal computer. When Facebook came on the scene, you were the first group to be indoctrinated into it. You graduated as the computer evolved and you learned the importance of building a social presence with your IM and Myspace pages. Well enough is enough! All you do is talk and present a world much better than your own with social media. We’re tired of hearing your plans that you’re working on but never complete, your dreams you haven’t found time to pursue, and your perpetual state of procrastination. Please shut the hell up and go do something with your life.
- Get a job, Save, and Invest you lazy slacker! – Your mom and dad are tired of you coming home on the weekends and walking away with food, money, and random things. You’re too old for all of this and it’s time for you to start paving your own way.
- Get a Job – If you’re not working, go find a job. If your job sucks, find out what you need to do to get a better one. If you have a good one and not enough money, find ways of making more money on the side or ways of improving your skills to demand more money. This is not going to get any easier and those Pennyhoarders articles aren’t going to get you that far.
- Save – Put a penny away for a rainy day! Didn’t your grandmother teach you nothing. All these dreams you keep talking about need financing and no one’s loaning money to a 30-year-old do-nothing.
- Invest – Okay so you’re a little better than your slacker cohorts. Good for you. Now start planning for the times when it won’t be so easy. Start investing in something that has the potential of keeping you afloat when those inevitable downtimes come or taking you higher in those good times.
- Go Sit Down! – You don’t always have to be moving. The club scene should be getting old and by now you should know that the money spent at the bar or elsewhere doesn’t come back to you. Sometimes you have to take a seat and let the bullshit leave you behind. Sometimes not going out is better then wasting time in unproductive situations so that you can go out in foreign places and really feel on top of the world.
- Pay your debts! – You’ve borrowed money, borrowed things, made promises. Pay it back! Own up to the debts you’ve made and pay it back. Loans made to you were done on a promise that you would live up to your end of the bargain. Now live up to it. A man only has two things: his word and his credit. No one can live without those two in good standing.
- Spend everyday being a little better today than you were yesterday. – 2016 was definitely a mixed bag for everyone. While some were happy, others were not. Despite all of this, you can’t allow external factors to destroy who you are and where you’re going . Life is a personal journey that can end at any moment. So when you wake up in the morning and before you go to sleep, strive to empower someone, make someone happy, and move one step closer to that dream you painted in your head (and seem to never be getting to 🙂 ). As stated in Invictus, you are the captain of the ship.
If 2016 was bad, know that bad things cannot stay bad forever. Try to find good things that did happen and improve on those. If 2016 was good, keep building on that success. Everyday is a fresh start and a new chance to do something amazing. Take that chance every day! The hell with the past; it doesn’t live here anymore. The time is now!
Goodbye 2016! Welcome 2017!
Happy New Year to you! May it be blessed and may you meet success!
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